I Like Mondays

It's true! This is the one day of the week where I feel fresh, motivated and energized enough to take on anything and everything that needs to be done.

I don't get it either - you'd think get-it-all-done time would happen at some point during the weekend... but no.

I'm trying to turn it into some sort of all-encompassing statement about tackling problems and things from the front end rather than letting it all happen and just try to clean up afterward... but I should know better than to try and fit any number of my quirks into some umbrella statement that attempts to explains them. It's like trying to fit every little exception to a loosly-defined rule into its own rigidly-defined rule - if the point is to simplify, then you've missed it entirely.

Without further ado, Happy Monday! I can't wait to get all my groceries, sort through some laundry, vacuum and organize... with one more hour of sunlight, woohoo!

[Quiet Nights via PDR]

Saturday Surprise

Hm. Nothing like going to get the mail only to discover a new neighbor moving in... with the back door propped open while smoking cigarettes. Suddenly I no longer wonder why it is so cold in here or why it smells like someone is smoking... in here. I never thought I'd be disappointed to find out the percussionist moved out.

I'm also bummed about having nothing to do, but in reality there's plenty to do and just nothing I feel like doing at the moment. My whole body is sore from CPR certification yesterday, I have a headache (and a toothache), I haven't been sleeping well, and my dreams have been absolutely disturbing when I do.

I'd better find something creative, productive or entertaining to do because sitting at the computer freezing my ass off and hating life is just not doing it for me. The next time I write will be better, I promise!

Slow-Thursday Thursday

In which I pay homage to my favorite ways to pass the downtime:

• We Heart It: so pretty

  
  
  
  
  

• Apartment Therapy: admit it - you always wanted a pink bathroom

  
  

• Cake Wrecks: it's like engrish.com without the language barrier.

  

• Country Life: because farmville is so last year

• Godzilla Haiku: sheer poetic genius

  

• Time Magazine: particularly the Best & Worst Lists

• Urban Outfitters: because I'm a sucker for free music

• Pop Hangover: because there's nothing wrong with a cheap laugh

  

• Regretsy: nobody does snark better

  

• This: it cannot be unseen and now i have to deal with this for the rest of my life

• ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
  

Quiet Nights 8

Tonight's Quiet Nights prompt was one I could really connect with: "really!" As in, "did that really just happen?" What can I say - complaining comes naturally for me. So... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of proud of my page tonight...

After a couple of questionable page attempts last week, I begrudgingly promised myself I would follow the tutorial a little more closely (after all, that's what the class is for). Being in sync with the topic helped. Trying to do "be still" while totally wound up bouncing off the walls? Not my best work - pretty sure they call that a learning experience.

I'm actually saving a few blank bubbles for another day because the journaling process dissolved a lot of my reallies and I wound up in too good a mood to channel frustration. Does it get any better than that?

Revenge of the Yarn and Other Stories

Now that I so seriously really need to be studying for my OAT (November, bitches) I am absolutely immersed in the Polka Dot Robot art journal class I'm taking. See? Here's a page from day five, sometimes i feel... (because sometimes I do feel like I have the world at my feet, and most of the time I don't know what to do about it).

Two weeks ago, I was at my mom's house gathering supplies of hers to use until I have a decent collection of my own, and she was giving me all sorts of paper scraps and stuff she wasn't going to use. She tried to hand me this thing of yarn. Not like a ball or skein? or whatever, just... a card, with a bunch of inches of yarn wrapped around it. It was shiny.

I took one look at the yarn and decided I didn't want it. I mean, I was already taking a TON of my mom's stuff (she hasn't scrapbooked in months, but still). Plus I had no idea what I would use it for (this was before I realized how cool stitching on pages actually is). Lucky for me, she tried to give me the yarn again (I guess she really didn't want it) so I took it. I remember taking it, deciding there had to be something I could do with it, and I distinctly remember being glad I had taken it.

The page I made for day six (dreams) has a spot that absolutely needs that yarn. It just HAPPENED that way. And what do you think I found when I looked for the yarn? Nothing. No yarn. No trace of the yarn. No hints as to where I must have stashed that thing. Nothing. My mom checked to see if I left it at her house. I looked through my supplies three times. I cleaned.

When I finally find that yarn, I am SO stiching it right up in my dreams page faster than you can say optometry school. You hear me yarn? It is ON.

I'm a Math Genius

This morning, my mom gave me a ride to work (yes, the stupid foot is still bothering me). We talked about all sorts of things. When he's doing well, (like all the time) she likes to tell me how Sam is doing in school.

She told me about his spelling pre-test, and how he hardly had any words to learn for the week, and so we got onto the topic of pre-tests and "acing" pre-tests (so that you don't have to take the actual test).

Because she's my mom and likes to hear this kind of stuff, I told her all about first year music theory and how we had to take a "rudiments exam" a few weeks into the semester. I was the only one who "aced" the pre-test, so when it came time to take the actual test, my teacher handed me one, too. So I just did it. I didn't try that hard, I doodled a lot, but I did it.

Then she told me I am the silliest person she knows, just like the time when I was five and I won at girl scouts bingo (twice!) but was too shy to yell it out, and just like the time last month when we toured ICO and I was too shy to tell the admissions guy how completely and utterly inside-outedly I had researched optometry school and how very nearly completely prepared I am. Thank goodness for moms who like to blurt, "she's a math genius" to any and everyone within earshot.

So this is for you, mom: bingo; I only need bio, micro-bio, and o-chem; excuse me, Diego, but I do not need to take this test. I'm a math genius.

Quiet Nights (1 & 2)

My apartment is an absolute disaster in that it's-okay-because-she's-creative way. As previously mentioned, I'm taking the Quiet Nights art journal class taught by Vivianna of Polka Dot Robot.

Sunday night I made the cover for my journal - front and inside-front.

I took the night off yesterday to spend the night in Evansville after both doctor and dentist appointments, so tonight I did page 1 (escape) and page 2 (bliss).

Photos from here, here, here, here and here.

This is honestly unlike anything I have ever done before (excluding, maybe, the scrapbook I made after the family vacation to Florida). I think I could really get into this, though - I love doing anything that makes me feel even remotely creative, and I've been doing everything possible to get out of the rut I've been in. This little project has kept me from doing anything remotely self-destructive, boring, or a waste of time for two whole hours, and all of a sudden I feel exhausted - like I could go to sleep any minute without having to pop a benadryl or anything!

This is big.

Short Term Goals

1. Write!

Laziness and apathy are allowing good ideas to go to waste... not okay.

2. Journal! I'm taking the Polka Dot Robot Art Journal Class. It is going to be a significant challenge, but I am already finding inspiration and/or supplies all over my apartment...

I'm hoping that I can complete the course in a timely matter with absolute artistic integrity. I've BS'ed my way through a lot of opportunities, and this will not be one of them.

3. Study! Because I have to...

4. More goofy pictures! Like these...

Then I'll have more stuff to journal with, because I just ordered an HP photo printer :D

4. Read! I will soon catch my reading up to my book-buying... it's currently a little unbalanced.

6. Flute! My first lesson is March 3rd. I hope to apply the same principle of artistic integrity (see #2) here, as well. I can't say I have always brought that attitude to my music studies...

7. Oboe? Now, I am not a vengeful person by any means, but I have the kind of noisy neighbors that make finally learning Oboe, which I have wanted to for years, a rather appealing new hobby. This probably won't happen.

A Silly Fairytale!

Once upon a time, there lived a princess named Megan. She was the princess of contact lenses, the best eye receptionist in all the land!

But Princess Megan had one major problem: her desk drawer smelled like feet! She tried and tried to ignore the problem, keeping the drawer open for only a short time, and changing shoes in solitude, but soon the whole second floor reception desk began to smell of feet!

Megan knew what she had to do. One windy, Wisconsin winter day, she set out into the wilderness in search of shoes not yet smelling of feet. But the rugged terrain of downtown Madison had many tricks and traps in store for our brave heroine!

(via)

After narrowly avoiding the University Bookstore vortex, from which she might never emerge, she was greeted by the bright shining lights of the island of Urban Outfitters! Steadfast, she did not let the sale signs sway her. Not even the tantalizing aroma of Za's Italian eatery could tempt her off course!

(via)

She made her way up State Street, past the 600 block, through the 500 block, even up the 400 block. But then, the terrain became less and less familiar. How long has this shop been here, she thought to herself; what kind of food does this cafe serve? She made her way closer and closer to the dark forest of upper State, where trees grow in bars! As the cold midwestern air began to take its toll, she thought one little stop can't hurt. The shiny banner and familiar warmth of Pop Deluxe seemed the perfect pit stop, and OH the lights! The stationery! The insulated lunch bags! The kitchen accessories! The evil queen of marketing must have been near, yet she ignored the warnings and shopped anyway.

(via)

Amid a sea of hello kitty and pretty purses, appeared a counter nymph, bearing colorful tattoos and a shiny nose ring. "Have you seen the Uglydolls?" she asked, "They each have an interesting backstory!" Could it be, Megan wondered, that the evil queen of marketing is acting through this adorable shop girl? Proceeding with caution, she read a few Uglydoll backstories. Suddenly, an Uglydoll with three eyes popped up. Her name was Tray, and she had three brains which were always active, pondering the mysteries of the universe and other trivialities leading her to a constant state of confusion, just like our heroine, Megan and her (one) brain!

Tray the Uglydoll led Megan to the cash registers, where she presented her plastic-magnetic-strip ticket out of the land of Pop Deluxe! She was almost there - just a few storefronts farther, and she reached the kingdom of shoes. King Jack of Jack's shoes was not there, but his wench, the cashier authorized the release of Prince Chuck Taylor from the back room, for a swipe of the plastic ticket. Freedom at last!

Princess Megan ran home, dodging snow drifts, traffic, and coasties. She was so pleased with Tray's help navigating the treacherous 200 block of State, she was awarded a throne on Megan's table! She was first introduced to Megan's best friends, Robot and Dinosaur, who were at first a bit apprehensive.

When the new-shoe smell permeated the kingdom, it was a joyous moment for all - and there was much rejoicing!

The next day, order was restored in the castle of contact lens, and Princess Megan could again rest easy knowing her workstation had been freed from the foot stench for at least a few more months.

And they all lived happily ever after!

Life, Art and Imitation

I just got home from my first time ever attending the Madison Comedy Club on State and I'm pretty sure I will never not go there again. By which I mean invite me there anytime and I'll come with you. I was as nervous as anyone about to attend some random venue featuring amateur comedians as entertainment, and the night was really doomed from the start. First off, the only person I knew there is pretty much the only friend I have left in Madison (yes, the one who moves to Minneapolis February 1st). I had absolutely no clue where this place was, besides "near the overture center" which could mean any number of things. When I thought I was there, I was among a group of loud "buddies" type guys whom I didn't want to follow, so I did a fake-out and took a lap around the block (seriously).

By the time I finally got into the comedy area, I found that the only way to be sure you get a table with your friends is to actually show up with your friends and sit down at the same time as them. And it's hard to send a text message to a person in a dark room full of your average downtown-Madison d-bags to say, "look out for me, i'll be in the standard-issue urban outfitters tee and black north face fleece!"

I eventually found a table tucked well-enough in a corner for me to sit inconspicuously without looking like I was trying to hide my obvious cluelessness. Well played, if I do say so myself. I did manage to say hi to Dinah and even though I wasn't able to pull up a chair, it was much more like being at the movies than being at a bar so that didn't matter too much. I did not stay until the end, because I'm not a fan of walking around in the dark by myself. BUT I made it home without incident, I was only a block and a half away from my building before the freezing rain the meteorologists promised began, and it was the first time I went out wearing shoes since the first of December. Oh, plus I laughed my ass off for like a solid hour.

So I had fun for reasons compelling enough to blog, that's cool, but I also was reminded of a story. Not just any story it's "THE STORY" by which I mean it is the random ass true-as-shit personal account you tell at a party after about the third drink when you realize you desperately want everyone in the room to remember you the next day when they see you've requested their friendship on the facebook. So I'm going to share it on my blog, because this is about the closest to the aforementioned situation I can probably get on the internet.

About halfway through the line-up - the seventh or eighth comedian - I recognized my neighbor from last year. About four days after he moved into my building, I was in my apartment drunk, stoned, and hopped up on no-doz around four in the morning (seriously) when I heard a loud noise down the hall. At this time, the apartment across the hall was occupied by an older woman who lived alone and immediately considering her well-being, ventured into the hallway. This is where I encountered my neighbor: a charming, sweet MATC student studying to be a police officer and all-around "good kid." What I saw, however, was a black guy I had never met accompanied by a cohort surrounded by what looked like smoke with bandannas over their mouths, hoods up, and a pistol.

For the second time in my life, I picked up a phone and dialed everyone's favorite three-digit number.

The actual version of the story involves a bat which had flown into the building during move-in. My neighbor and his friend, who had just returned from working as bouncers at a State Street bar were trying as hard as they could to get rid of the bat. The fire extinguisher was their first attempt, which explains the "smoke" bandannas and hoodies, and the bb gun that looked to me like a pistol was blan b(b). Everyone had a good laugh, and he even brought me a photocopy of the police report to keep as a souvenier, admitting he'd totally have done the same thing if in my shoes. It totally could have been worse.

As my former neighbor took the stage tonight, the only thing running through my head was, "oh, shit." His stage persona is far different from the guy who will forever be an amicable acquaintance of mine, with being black in Wisconsin basically being his schtick, complete with a few n-words, a punchline that even the black clouds mean bad weather, and, yes, a Hurricane Katrina reference. Overall, he was pretty funny, and I really wish I could have seen him a year ago, when he undoubtedly must have worked the bat story into his routine and I would have loved to have heard the story from his stage persona's perspective, knowing full well I was the butt of the joke.

All in all, lessons learned: the Comedy Club on State is an okay place and that secret fear of unwittingly being some stand-up comedian's punchline is probably universal, but really not all that bad.