Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Old-Notebook-Time, Continued

There's no date on this, but it's from between 4/18 and 4/21 2008. I can hardly believe that's almost three years ago.

She always wanted to be a game-show contestant, knew something about everything but everything on nothing, with emerald luck and the poker-face of a cliff. She completed crosswords, was always the tenth caller, predicted plot twists and read the weary like a highway billboard for adult commodities.
-What is... a bold woman?
-What is... the world at her feet?

I'll take "life isn't fair" for 600, Alex.

I wonder if I should polish some of these little gems, make the obviously-needed revisions and do something with this writing. But I sort of like the beauty in letting it just... be.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Bad Times Weren't All Bad

I really really want to write more! There are so many things going on right now - I just started Nutrisystem and spring semester is right around the corner and slowly but surely it's going to not be winter anymore.

Tonight I was acutely affected by my tendency to keep bank account information, log-ins and passwords in my journals. Like written on the day I sign up for these things... anyway, to find my student loan information took me back 2.5 years and they really weren't good ones. But then I found this page that I felt like I just had to share -


I just spent the last few hours cleaning up after a whole year of depression, addiction and self-neglect. Dealing with something bigger than myself, or whatever your favorite euphemism for all of this is. Cleanse Song came on, and while that song speaks to me in the way you'd expect, it had much more impact when the flute came on, and so I played my own for the first time in years. It's really helping me feel more like myself again. Normal and stuff. I have time off this week and I can't wait to fix up my place. All this time in Evansville really has helped me fix all these things I never really understood were wrong. It's all getting better, making sense, falling into place...

Ignoring the total nose-dive everything took in the following months, I found the hope in that entry inspiring. The "bad times" weren't all bad.