Once upon a time, there lived a princess named Megan. She was the princess of contact lenses, the best eye receptionist in all the land!
But Princess Megan had one major problem: her desk drawer smelled like feet! She tried and tried to ignore the problem, keeping the drawer open for only a short time, and changing shoes in solitude, but soon the whole second floor reception desk began to smell of feet!
Megan knew what she had to do. One windy, Wisconsin winter day, she set out into the wilderness in search of shoes not yet smelling of feet. But the rugged terrain of downtown Madison had many tricks and traps in store for our brave heroine!
(via)
After narrowly avoiding the University Bookstore vortex, from which she might never emerge, she was greeted by the bright shining lights of the island of Urban Outfitters! Steadfast, she did not let the sale signs sway her. Not even the tantalizing aroma of Za's Italian eatery could tempt her off course!
She made her way up State Street, past the 600 block, through the 500 block, even up the 400 block. But then, the terrain became less and less familiar. How long has this shop been here, she thought to herself; what kind of food does this cafe serve? She made her way closer and closer to the dark forest of upper State, where trees grow in bars! As the cold midwestern air began to take its toll, she thought one little stop can't hurt. The shiny banner and familiar warmth of Pop Deluxe seemed the perfect pit stop, and OH the lights! The stationery! The insulated lunch bags! The kitchen accessories! The evil queen of marketing must have been near, yet she ignored the warnings and shopped anyway.
Amid a sea of hello kitty and pretty purses, appeared a counter nymph, bearing colorful tattoos and a shiny nose ring. "Have you seen the Uglydolls?" she asked, "They each have an interesting backstory!" Could it be, Megan wondered, that the evil queen of marketing is acting through this adorable shop girl? Proceeding with caution, she read a few Uglydoll backstories. Suddenly, an Uglydoll with three eyes popped up. Her name was Tray, and she had three brains which were always active, pondering the mysteries of the universe and other trivialities leading her to a constant state of confusion, just like our heroine, Megan and her (one) brain!
Tray the Uglydoll led Megan to the cash registers, where she presented her plastic-magnetic-strip ticket out of the land of Pop Deluxe! She was almost there - just a few storefronts farther, and she reached the kingdom of shoes. King Jack of Jack's shoes was not there, but his wench, the cashier authorized the release of Prince Chuck Taylor from the back room, for a swipe of the plastic ticket. Freedom at last!
Princess Megan ran home, dodging snow drifts, traffic, and coasties. She was so pleased with Tray's help navigating the treacherous 200 block of State, she was awarded a throne on Megan's table! She was first introduced to Megan's best friends, Robot and Dinosaur, who were at first a bit apprehensive.
When the new-shoe smell permeated the kingdom, it was a joyous moment for all - and there was much rejoicing!
The next day, order was restored in the castle of contact lens, and Princess Megan could again rest easy knowing her workstation had been freed from the foot stench for at least a few more months.
And they all lived happily ever after!
This was really funny! I enjoyed reading it. Carry on.
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