I used to tell people that it's way too hard to focus on hard science classes with labs AND music at the same time, and that's why I have a degree in creative writing instead of physics and/or flute performance, like I had planned.
The truth is that it's ridiculously hard to study difficult subject matter, practice enough, smoke too much pot, maintain eating habits that have you almost fainting in choir on a regular basis, and hold together a doomed relationship with a really shitty boyfriend all at the same time, because face it, you're what, only 19? 20 years old? A person's life can change a lot in six years.
I realized this today when I accepted the opportunity to study with the flute professor here on campus, because I started asking myself why why why would I put myself back into a situation that nearly ruined my life when I was a sophomore. But the ambitious academic and musical pursuits weren't what ruined my life, and I know that now, and I'm really really happy to have them back. Every A exam, every second of audience applause, every piece of broken lab equipment, every frustrating problem set, every impossible etude, every paralyzing instance of stage fright - all of it.
Today was the first day of the semester, and I learned that each week (for the next 15) will include: 9 hours of labs, 4 hours of rehearsals, 40 minutes of lessons with something like 10 hours of practicing for those lessons (or more, I don't really know). Also, 6 hours of lectures for, you know, my classes that are supposed to get me into optometry school. And I guess I'll probably have to study for those.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.