We'll Never Forget You, Brent

Okay... this could very well likely get me into some trouble. OH WELL

To all of you Packer fans who harbor ill feelings toward Brett Favre, I have one question for you: what are you really upset about? And how on EARTH did you develop such a deep, emotional attachment to a professional quarterback you never have and never will meet?

Yes, I'm absolutely a Packer fan. In fact, last Sunday I placed a call to AT&T customer support, and the guy who took my call identified himself as so-and-so out of St. Louis, and I came thisclose to asking him if he was a football fan. But I kind of wanted him to fix my internet, and I am really not that kind of fan. What kind of fan AM I then? How about a passive, laid-back, nostalgic fan. The girl in packer pajamas having a beer on the couch on a Sunday afternoon. I get riled up ("go... go... go go go GO GO GO AHHHHHH!!!!!!) and I may have shead a tear or two, but I will NEVER buy green and gold face paint and even though I have never been to a game, I'd be lying if I said I'd sit in negative-thirty-two-degree conditions to catch the very last play (even though 50% of my genetic make-up comes from somebody who has).

ACTUALLY, Remember in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire when Harry attends the Quiddich Cup with the Weasleys? Everybody WANTS Ireland to win, but they are also fans of Viktor Krum of the other team, and want him to do equally well.

So everybody is rooting for Ireland as a team and Krum as an individual and sure enough, Ireland wins, but Krum catches the snitch. That is what I hope happens tonight. The Packers definitely need to win, no doubt about it. But I do wish Favre a good game - he is a talented athlete and should be celebrated for that.

But I digress.

Favre haters: what's wrong? Is it abandonment issues? Anger issues? Was your high school quarterback just so dreamy your perspective is skewed into projecting your juvenille crush onto Favre? Are you so isolated from social behaviors you have to create a false sense of community with people you will never ever know? You have never been in love with Favre, nor do you dislike him as much as you let on, so what is REALLY going on???

I do not mean this rhetorically, I really mean it, what is the issue really about???

Slacker for LIFE!

Two things happened in the last week: facebook ceased to be "blocked" by the computers at work and I am finally online at home. This is going to make me sound seriously uncool, but I will risk it - I really missed facebook. And yes, you can bet your ass I busted in there like a kid in a freakin' candy store. If there ever was such a thing as spamming your own stupid self, then I did it. And then I replied to it two seconds later.

I feel so much better now that I've gotten that off my chest. I'm not afraid of looking totally lame. I like to stay in. I go to bed early. I kill time being your least hip facebook friend. No longer do I elusively NOT post shit, offering the suggestion that I have something better going on most of the time. I don't, and I really never have. Half my FAMILY is on facebook, and my mom still refuses to participate. So I guess that makes even my MOM cooler than me... I won't sweat it.

And then what do I do when I'm not oversharing all over my stupid facebook? Oh, just finding that most of my old high school classmates have kids. KIDS! And pretty much everybody who doesn't have a kid yet is in graduate school and the rest of them own homes.

That's okay, too. I have become insanely comfortable with my lack of ambition, and I'm not ashamed of the fact that I do not volunteer my time, donate to charities, or even care to seek employment that requires my degree. Take a second and look a few inches to your right ---> I may have zero dollars in my google ad account, but at least I don't have to do anything. Sure, at first I had a total and-what-the-hell-am-I-doing moment... but there is just no sense in keeping score be it through GPA, income, number of healthy offspring or anything else that ranks highly in your value system. I would hope my old buddies feel the same way, but maybe I arrived at that conclusion because being a slacker for life means having GOBS of free time, and that means you get to sit around and justify slackerdom.

As long as I'm laying it on nice and THICK now, I might go so far as to call myself a "late bloomer." There is no sense in denying that trust funds are on the way, and I have thought long and hard about going back to school and actually applying myself a little this time around... Education - and I mean learning, not coming into good-enough grades through pre-existing knowledge and dumb luck - EDUCATION is truly an investment, an incredibly appropriate one, at that. I know I have it in me; some of my college classes were so interesting they compelled me to crack a few spines. Yes, most of my grades are wholly undeserved, but I can still say I have read an entire psychology textbook cover-to-cover AND I really don't have any qualms taking credit for five straight-A semesters of Russian (though I have to admit, the language somehow came easily to me).

So... what I do know is that there is no point in trying to plan out every step of your life, because sometimes the unexpected "problems" that crop up wind up totally necessary detours. There's nothing wrong with setting goals - graduating at the top of your class from Harvard medical school, or simply NOT overdrafting my account for the duration of tomorrow through my next paycheck, whatever. I may be a slacker, but I certainly haven't given up on myself.

If Only Over-Complicating Simple Solutions Were a Marketable Skill

So much for my awesome blog! I still don't have the internet at my apartment. This is mostly my own stupid fault. While home sick from work, my building maintenance knocked on my door to check my phone line. It was something like day three for my ratty pajamas and day two on my shower strike. The living room looked ransacked and the crumbs were slightly embarassing. I turned them away. I turned away building maintenance that, until that moment, I had been skeptical even existed.

It was a monumentally stupid move on my part, considering it would probably be another couple of weeks before my awful landlord would get someone up there to look at it again, but what was I to do? Plus, I had an appointment with AT&T Sunday. ALLLLLLLL day Sunday.

So. Sunday. Convinced AT&T was going to no-show (it was 5:30 at night), I gave up. I reclaimed my time, my space, and resigned to the fact I would not see AT&T. Yeah, they showed. After I reclaimed my time and space and DID NOT WANT to be bothered(!!!)

So that makes two, two monumentally stupid moves, ah ha ha! And still no internet. In a perfect world, building maintenance will ALWAYS show up when I am nowhere near my apartment (if I don't see strangers in my apartment, then it never happened, and it's not creepy) and AT&T tech support will give you an appointment time a little more specific than "Sunday."

So now I have to contact both building maintenance and AT&T and sheepishly explain whatever excuse seems most appropriate (because "getting sketched out" by maintenance workers alone with me in my apt. is going to sound hella stupid). I mean, most women get "sketched out" when strange men enter their apartments... that's reality. But at this point I can't think of a sketchier dude than the one who lived in my apartment for like six months, so there's that.

For the sake of humanity, let's hope I can figure out this mess before my first month's bill arrives. Tonight, I'm going to go down to the creepy basement and see if there are phone jacks hidden in the old laundry room. Or maybe I can convince a neighbor to plug my router into their phone jack, but then I guess that means I'll have to share my bandwith... UGH

Infamous Introductions

Today marks a noteworthy day in the life of Megan: after something like a one-year hiatus, I have once again opted to have an internet signal cast into my apartment!

Some of you must be thinking, "Internet? BFD!" Those of you who have tried to sustain any large amount of time with limited to zero access get it.

Why now? Why not now!? A few things -

• I just moved into a new apartment
• I'm single (at least I'm pretty sure I am)
• I graduated from college - still can't find a relevant job
• If I quit writing on a regular basis, I will get rusty
• I just turned 25... TWENTY-FIVE WTF
• I have a brand new computer

I still haven't decided what on earth I must need to have a blog for, but I had this blogger account I signed up for AGES ago and now I have a little blogger desktop gadget RIGHT THERE on my new computer and MAYBE JUST MAYBE I am still holding onto that flicker of that internet stardom dream I once had. Stop laughing, we all had stupid dreams. At least I never wanted a job with the circus or, heaven forbid, the carnival.

So there you go. Add me to your RSS feeds now and let's get this show on the road...