On Oprah

Ohhh Oprah, you and your book club.

As I've expressed before, one of my goals for 2010 is to read more. It's not that I feel I need to expand my horizons, absorb more culture or make myself smarter (although those are all good things to do). I don't have degree guilt, thinking I should consume more classics before I truly "deserve" my degree in English literature or devour contemporary works to justify the creative writing emphasis. The bottom line is that I am truly head-over-heals in LOVE with books. My "to-read" list grows at nearly the rate I am able to read synopses, and so making a goal to read more is entirely to catch myself up to the volumes upon volumes unread on my shelf.

Enter Oprah, the woman who singlehandedly turned 864 grueling pages of Tolstoy into mainstream literature. Contrary to my tweet, I don't dislike Oprah. Nor do I dislike what she has done for literature and American literacy. I'm not worried about my lit-cred, I'm not keeping score... I am, however, on Oprah's e-mail list. Every few weeks I get e-mails featuring the latest new titles or the classics that have stood the test of time with tatalizing synopses and beautiful covers and now my wishlist looks like this.

Also my to-do list is about four times as long, I have about a hundred personal goals and I am downright ashamed over the quantity of clothing with which I do not wish to part. It's rough, this "live your best life" business. Easy for you, Oprah, with your army of assistants and your record-shattering paychecks, your magazine and TV show...

Oprah, my heart is in the right place. It really is. But at the end of the day I'm going to go watch my second episode of Jersey Shore before I check to see if my antennae will pick up Idol and harvest some virtual crops. I will also watch Planet Earth segments and read Discover magazine before bed. You win some you lose some.

I Like Mondays

It's true! This is the one day of the week where I feel fresh, motivated and energized enough to take on anything and everything that needs to be done.

I don't get it either - you'd think get-it-all-done time would happen at some point during the weekend... but no.

I'm trying to turn it into some sort of all-encompassing statement about tackling problems and things from the front end rather than letting it all happen and just try to clean up afterward... but I should know better than to try and fit any number of my quirks into some umbrella statement that attempts to explains them. It's like trying to fit every little exception to a loosly-defined rule into its own rigidly-defined rule - if the point is to simplify, then you've missed it entirely.

Without further ado, Happy Monday! I can't wait to get all my groceries, sort through some laundry, vacuum and organize... with one more hour of sunlight, woohoo!

[Quiet Nights via PDR]

Saturday Surprise

Hm. Nothing like going to get the mail only to discover a new neighbor moving in... with the back door propped open while smoking cigarettes. Suddenly I no longer wonder why it is so cold in here or why it smells like someone is smoking... in here. I never thought I'd be disappointed to find out the percussionist moved out.

I'm also bummed about having nothing to do, but in reality there's plenty to do and just nothing I feel like doing at the moment. My whole body is sore from CPR certification yesterday, I have a headache (and a toothache), I haven't been sleeping well, and my dreams have been absolutely disturbing when I do.

I'd better find something creative, productive or entertaining to do because sitting at the computer freezing my ass off and hating life is just not doing it for me. The next time I write will be better, I promise!

Slow-Thursday Thursday

In which I pay homage to my favorite ways to pass the downtime:

• We Heart It: so pretty

  
  
  
  
  

• Apartment Therapy: admit it - you always wanted a pink bathroom

  
  

• Cake Wrecks: it's like engrish.com without the language barrier.

  

• Country Life: because farmville is so last year

• Godzilla Haiku: sheer poetic genius

  

• Time Magazine: particularly the Best & Worst Lists

• Urban Outfitters: because I'm a sucker for free music

• Pop Hangover: because there's nothing wrong with a cheap laugh

  

• Regretsy: nobody does snark better

  

• This: it cannot be unseen and now i have to deal with this for the rest of my life

• ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
  

Quiet Nights 8

Tonight's Quiet Nights prompt was one I could really connect with: "really!" As in, "did that really just happen?" What can I say - complaining comes naturally for me. So... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of proud of my page tonight...

After a couple of questionable page attempts last week, I begrudgingly promised myself I would follow the tutorial a little more closely (after all, that's what the class is for). Being in sync with the topic helped. Trying to do "be still" while totally wound up bouncing off the walls? Not my best work - pretty sure they call that a learning experience.

I'm actually saving a few blank bubbles for another day because the journaling process dissolved a lot of my reallies and I wound up in too good a mood to channel frustration. Does it get any better than that?

Revenge of the Yarn and Other Stories

Now that I so seriously really need to be studying for my OAT (November, bitches) I am absolutely immersed in the Polka Dot Robot art journal class I'm taking. See? Here's a page from day five, sometimes i feel... (because sometimes I do feel like I have the world at my feet, and most of the time I don't know what to do about it).

Two weeks ago, I was at my mom's house gathering supplies of hers to use until I have a decent collection of my own, and she was giving me all sorts of paper scraps and stuff she wasn't going to use. She tried to hand me this thing of yarn. Not like a ball or skein? or whatever, just... a card, with a bunch of inches of yarn wrapped around it. It was shiny.

I took one look at the yarn and decided I didn't want it. I mean, I was already taking a TON of my mom's stuff (she hasn't scrapbooked in months, but still). Plus I had no idea what I would use it for (this was before I realized how cool stitching on pages actually is). Lucky for me, she tried to give me the yarn again (I guess she really didn't want it) so I took it. I remember taking it, deciding there had to be something I could do with it, and I distinctly remember being glad I had taken it.

The page I made for day six (dreams) has a spot that absolutely needs that yarn. It just HAPPENED that way. And what do you think I found when I looked for the yarn? Nothing. No yarn. No trace of the yarn. No hints as to where I must have stashed that thing. Nothing. My mom checked to see if I left it at her house. I looked through my supplies three times. I cleaned.

When I finally find that yarn, I am SO stiching it right up in my dreams page faster than you can say optometry school. You hear me yarn? It is ON.

I'm a Math Genius

This morning, my mom gave me a ride to work (yes, the stupid foot is still bothering me). We talked about all sorts of things. When he's doing well, (like all the time) she likes to tell me how Sam is doing in school.

She told me about his spelling pre-test, and how he hardly had any words to learn for the week, and so we got onto the topic of pre-tests and "acing" pre-tests (so that you don't have to take the actual test).

Because she's my mom and likes to hear this kind of stuff, I told her all about first year music theory and how we had to take a "rudiments exam" a few weeks into the semester. I was the only one who "aced" the pre-test, so when it came time to take the actual test, my teacher handed me one, too. So I just did it. I didn't try that hard, I doodled a lot, but I did it.

Then she told me I am the silliest person she knows, just like the time when I was five and I won at girl scouts bingo (twice!) but was too shy to yell it out, and just like the time last month when we toured ICO and I was too shy to tell the admissions guy how completely and utterly inside-outedly I had researched optometry school and how very nearly completely prepared I am. Thank goodness for moms who like to blurt, "she's a math genius" to any and everyone within earshot.

So this is for you, mom: bingo; I only need bio, micro-bio, and o-chem; excuse me, Diego, but I do not need to take this test. I'm a math genius.

Quiet Nights (1 & 2)

My apartment is an absolute disaster in that it's-okay-because-she's-creative way. As previously mentioned, I'm taking the Quiet Nights art journal class taught by Vivianna of Polka Dot Robot.

Sunday night I made the cover for my journal - front and inside-front.

I took the night off yesterday to spend the night in Evansville after both doctor and dentist appointments, so tonight I did page 1 (escape) and page 2 (bliss).

Photos from here, here, here, here and here.

This is honestly unlike anything I have ever done before (excluding, maybe, the scrapbook I made after the family vacation to Florida). I think I could really get into this, though - I love doing anything that makes me feel even remotely creative, and I've been doing everything possible to get out of the rut I've been in. This little project has kept me from doing anything remotely self-destructive, boring, or a waste of time for two whole hours, and all of a sudden I feel exhausted - like I could go to sleep any minute without having to pop a benadryl or anything!

This is big.

Short Term Goals

1. Write!

Laziness and apathy are allowing good ideas to go to waste... not okay.

2. Journal! I'm taking the Polka Dot Robot Art Journal Class. It is going to be a significant challenge, but I am already finding inspiration and/or supplies all over my apartment...

I'm hoping that I can complete the course in a timely matter with absolute artistic integrity. I've BS'ed my way through a lot of opportunities, and this will not be one of them.

3. Study! Because I have to...

4. More goofy pictures! Like these...

Then I'll have more stuff to journal with, because I just ordered an HP photo printer :D

4. Read! I will soon catch my reading up to my book-buying... it's currently a little unbalanced.

6. Flute! My first lesson is March 3rd. I hope to apply the same principle of artistic integrity (see #2) here, as well. I can't say I have always brought that attitude to my music studies...

7. Oboe? Now, I am not a vengeful person by any means, but I have the kind of noisy neighbors that make finally learning Oboe, which I have wanted to for years, a rather appealing new hobby. This probably won't happen.

A Silly Fairytale!

Once upon a time, there lived a princess named Megan. She was the princess of contact lenses, the best eye receptionist in all the land!

But Princess Megan had one major problem: her desk drawer smelled like feet! She tried and tried to ignore the problem, keeping the drawer open for only a short time, and changing shoes in solitude, but soon the whole second floor reception desk began to smell of feet!

Megan knew what she had to do. One windy, Wisconsin winter day, she set out into the wilderness in search of shoes not yet smelling of feet. But the rugged terrain of downtown Madison had many tricks and traps in store for our brave heroine!

(via)

After narrowly avoiding the University Bookstore vortex, from which she might never emerge, she was greeted by the bright shining lights of the island of Urban Outfitters! Steadfast, she did not let the sale signs sway her. Not even the tantalizing aroma of Za's Italian eatery could tempt her off course!

(via)

She made her way up State Street, past the 600 block, through the 500 block, even up the 400 block. But then, the terrain became less and less familiar. How long has this shop been here, she thought to herself; what kind of food does this cafe serve? She made her way closer and closer to the dark forest of upper State, where trees grow in bars! As the cold midwestern air began to take its toll, she thought one little stop can't hurt. The shiny banner and familiar warmth of Pop Deluxe seemed the perfect pit stop, and OH the lights! The stationery! The insulated lunch bags! The kitchen accessories! The evil queen of marketing must have been near, yet she ignored the warnings and shopped anyway.

(via)

Amid a sea of hello kitty and pretty purses, appeared a counter nymph, bearing colorful tattoos and a shiny nose ring. "Have you seen the Uglydolls?" she asked, "They each have an interesting backstory!" Could it be, Megan wondered, that the evil queen of marketing is acting through this adorable shop girl? Proceeding with caution, she read a few Uglydoll backstories. Suddenly, an Uglydoll with three eyes popped up. Her name was Tray, and she had three brains which were always active, pondering the mysteries of the universe and other trivialities leading her to a constant state of confusion, just like our heroine, Megan and her (one) brain!

Tray the Uglydoll led Megan to the cash registers, where she presented her plastic-magnetic-strip ticket out of the land of Pop Deluxe! She was almost there - just a few storefronts farther, and she reached the kingdom of shoes. King Jack of Jack's shoes was not there, but his wench, the cashier authorized the release of Prince Chuck Taylor from the back room, for a swipe of the plastic ticket. Freedom at last!

Princess Megan ran home, dodging snow drifts, traffic, and coasties. She was so pleased with Tray's help navigating the treacherous 200 block of State, she was awarded a throne on Megan's table! She was first introduced to Megan's best friends, Robot and Dinosaur, who were at first a bit apprehensive.

When the new-shoe smell permeated the kingdom, it was a joyous moment for all - and there was much rejoicing!

The next day, order was restored in the castle of contact lens, and Princess Megan could again rest easy knowing her workstation had been freed from the foot stench for at least a few more months.

And they all lived happily ever after!