Just Awful

I still go online.

2011-09-18T21:45:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say I have no interest in updating this... really ever. BUT I'm on tumblr all the time and kind of addicted to twitter too.

Welcome to Spring Semester

2011-01-18T22:28:00.008-06:00

I used to tell people that it's way too hard to focus on hard science classes with labs AND music at the same time, and that's why I have a degree in creative writing instead of physics and/or flute performance, like I had planned.

The truth is that it's ridiculously hard to study difficult subject matter, practice enough, smoke too much pot, maintain eating habits that have you almost fainting in choir on a regular basis, and hold together a doomed relationship with a really shitty boyfriend all at the same time, because face it, you're what, only 19? 20 years old? A person's life can change a lot in six years.

I realized this today when I accepted the opportunity to study with the flute professor here on campus, because I started asking myself why why why would I put myself back into a situation that nearly ruined my life when I was a sophomore. But the ambitious academic and musical pursuits weren't what ruined my life, and I know that now, and I'm really really happy to have them back. Every A exam, every second of audience applause, every piece of broken lab equipment, every frustrating problem set, every impossible etude, every paralyzing instance of stage fright - all of it.

Today was the first day of the semester, and I learned that each week (for the next 15) will include: 9 hours of labs, 4 hours of rehearsals, 40 minutes of lessons with something like 10 hours of practicing for those lessons (or more, I don't really know). Also, 6 hours of lectures for, you know, my classes that are supposed to get me into optometry school. And I guess I'll probably have to study for those.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Old-Notebook-Time, Continued

2011-01-12T00:15:00.008-06:00

There's no date on this, but it's from between 4/18 and 4/21 2008. I can hardly believe that's almost three years ago.

She always wanted to be a game-show contestant, knew something about everything but everything on nothing, with emerald luck and the poker-face of a cliff. She completed crosswords, was always the tenth caller, predicted plot twists and read the weary like a highway billboard for adult commodities.
-What is... a bold woman?
-What is... the world at her feet?
I'll take "life isn't fair" for 600, Alex.

I wonder if I should polish some of these little gems, make the obviously-needed revisions and do something with this writing. But I sort of like the beauty in letting it just... be.

The Bad Times Weren't All Bad

2011-01-11T23:53:00.002-06:00

I really really want to write more! There are so many things going on right now - I just started Nutrisystem and spring semester is right around the corner and slowly but surely it's going to not be winter anymore.

Tonight I was acutely affected by my tendency to keep bank account information, log-ins and passwords in my journals. Like written on the day I sign up for these things... anyway, to find my student loan information took me back 2.5 years and they really weren't good ones. But then I found this page that I felt like I just had to share -

8/3/08
I just spent the last few hours cleaning up after a whole year of depression, addiction and self-neglect. Dealing with something bigger than myself, or whatever your favorite euphemism for all of this is. Cleanse Song came on, and while that song speaks to me in the way you'd expect, it had much more impact when the flute came on, and so I played my own for the first time in years. It's really helping me feel more like myself again. Normal and stuff. I have time off this week and I can't wait to fix up my place. All this time in Evansville really has helped me fix all these things I never really understood were wrong. It's all getting better, making sense, falling into place...

Ignoring the total nose-dive everything took in the following months, I found the hope in that entry inspiring. The "bad times" weren't all bad.

Winter Break

2010-12-20T22:24:00.003-06:00

It's true always that the more there is to write about, the less I write. Today was the last day of school (until January something). I'm going to have some spare time... Write once a day during my break. I can do that, right?

Hi

2010-12-10T11:51:00.002-06:00

Why did I quit my blog again? That's right, I have no idea. Just quit my job, moved to a new town, and started going to school again :) That's no reason not to write!

Tell Your Story

2010-05-01T10:49:00.006-05:00

I know a couple of these are incomplete, I've done this on purpose - I want to be able to share all of my pages from the art journal class I am taking, but I also don't want to lose the "journal" aspect of the project, and this is the only way I can journal freely and honestly (because otherwise what is the point?)

Happy Birthday Earth

2010-04-22T10:33:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a while - I also have fallen far behind on my reading, too! Last week I got sick and my normal routine just sort of went down the tubes (and I don't even really HAVE a routine, so I didn't do ANYTHING).

So even though I don't have anything momentous, cute or interesting to share, I can still wish everyone a happy earth day! (Birthday? EARTH day? Whose birthday? EARTH. Earth's birthday?) And remember, you're not being "green" if you go and replace something that is still working perfectly fine, even if the new thing is energy saving or more earth-friendly. Just sayin.

Beautiful Blogger Award

2010-04-11T21:36:00.016-05:00

Looks like I'm one of the cool kids now ;) I owe a huge thank you to Gidget of Lilac and Lace for the nomination - you made my week! XOXO

A stipulation of the award is that I must share seven facts about myself:

-I have played the flute for 15 years now and earned a full tuition scholarship to UW Madison because of it
-even though I have always loved optics and physics, it wasn't until after three years working at an eye clinic that I realized I wanted to be an optometrist
-I have lived by myself for the last five years, and am scared to once again have to share my space in dorm-style living (even though I have done it before)
-My mom and step-dad adopted my younger brother from Ukraine when I was 18. He's 8 now.
-I always wear chucks. Even when I should be wearing something a little dressier. Even when my podiatrist says I need better arch support.
-Even though I post so many pages, I only just started art-journaling in March. It truly means the WORLD to me every time someone tells me they like what I've done :)
-I've never seen nor read Gone With the Wind (nor do I intend do... sorry, Mom!)

And now I get to pass on the blog love to 15 10 lovelies! Will you accept?

-What I See
-The Foxy Robot
-Zita Devi
-Montana Adventures
-You Will, Won't You?
-The Perfect Pear
-Inspirations Scrap
-Miss Pouty Pants
-un-BLOG-evable
-Being a Lady
-Polka Dot Robot

If you choose to accept the award you must:

- Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
- Copy the award and paste it to your blog.
- Tell us seven interesting facts about yourself.
- Pass this award on to 15 fantastic bloggers you have discovered.
- Contact your nominations and let them know they’ve won.

Revenge of the Yarn Part 2

2010-04-10T20:44:00.003-05:00

A while back I wrote about some yarn.

And today, I found that yarn.

Finally.

Ode to Tape; Poetry

2010-04-09T20:59:00.004-05:00

Two weeks and three days from now marks the start of the Tell Your Story art journal class, and as far as I'm concerned, that's seventeen days too many. I've completed the introductory prompt plus a random page just for the fun of it, and now that most of my supplies have arrived I am beyond ready to start!

Among the things I ordered last weekend are carnival tickets, vintage paper, and tape... lots of tape. I am absolutely amazed how pretty some of this tape is, and I can't believe it's as unavailable as it is - I couldn't find it in any local stores! I mean, we have gift wrapping, crafting, collages, journaling, scrapbooking, and just plain sticking things to other things... tape is ubiquitous, essential, and indispensable (except from a tape dispenser - lol). I mean, just look at this page I created tonight!

The photo I used came from here and the poem is my own work (2008). Since I am so excited for class to start, until then I had the idea that I could take pieces from my senior creative writing thesis and attempt to illustrate them the way that I saw them when they were written. So far I'm really pleased with the way this first one turned out, and soon I want to try finding an image before I write, and see how that turns out. I have never written based on an actual image (existing outside of my head) but I think it would be an interesting exercise if I found the right photo... or for a real challenge I could select one at random. Better yet, I can ask for suggestions! If you are reading this, then I challenge you to challenge me with a photograph - if you do, I promise I will post my work :)

April Is the Cruelest Month

2010-04-08T13:46:00.005-05:00

It's also national poetry month.

In fact, during this time last year, I was finishing up my senior creative writing thesis. During this time two years ago, I was enrolled in intermediate poetry workshop. During this time four years ago, I was enrolled in my first creative writing workshop ever.

The year before that I was a physics major.

On the 2nd of the month, I stumbled on a poem-a-day challenge, and decided it was something I should do. I was only one day behind, so why not? I am now eight days behind on the poem-a-day challenge. Do I print out the challenge every day with the intention of completing it? Absolutely. Will I actually do it? We'll see. There's no reason not to, and there's a contest also, so it could be really fun!

Is anyone else participating?

I Don't Even Know

2010-04-07T22:31:00.006-05:00

I got off work early today only to walk home in the rain and then pass out for a four hour nap with a sore throat and itchy ears. Yuck.

This picture was kind of an accident, but it totally sums up my day. Sexy, sexy head-cold-nap hair.

Also, I did this. I don't know if I'm going to add to it - I took the picture in Chicago with my mom and sister-in-law after touring ICO and so I thought maybe I should write about it, but I kind of like the simplicity of it just the way it is.

I received a bunch of vintage paper and pretty tape in the mail today, and was itching to try some of it out. My mom tells stories all the time about when I was pre-school age and the art projects I would come up with that were almost entirely tape. They would fill my stocking with rolls of tape every Christmas, and apparently that was just the best thing ever for me. I was too young to remember any of this, but when I saw the package from happytape at my door today, I knew every word of it is true. What can I say - I'm a freak for adhesive.

Now it's way past my bedtime and I'm not sleepy. Earlier I dreamt that I was getting married to my ex-boyfriend, and that just before I walked down the aisle, I told my mom I didn't want to do it... but did anyway, only to get to the other end and have somebody tell me I was pregnant. I don't know why it was such an issue, because she totally hated him, but it was vaguely reminiscent of my sophomore year of high school when I told this boy I would go to prom with him because I was too nice to say no, and then when I wanted to cancel she forced me to go. Anyway, I'm really glad I woke up when I did, what a nightmare. Sometimes I wish I could shut my dreams off.

Typical Tuesday

2010-04-06T21:03:00.003-05:00

just watching a dvd with my dino :D

Tell Your Story

2010-04-05T22:04:00.001-05:00

If I were...

2010-04-04T20:25:00.000-05:00

Originally posted: If I were...

If I were a month, I’d be September.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Monday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be 6:00am.

If I were a planet, I’d be Neptune.

If I were a sea animal, I’d be ....
If I were a direction, I’d be North.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a bookshelf.

If I were a liquid, I’d be Diet Coke.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be a ....

If I were a tree, I’d be a ....

If I were a tool, I’d be an ice pick.

If I were a flower, I’d be a daisy.

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a foggy fall day.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a flute.

If I were a color, I’d be gray.

If I were an emotion, I’d be ambivalence.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a starfruit.

If I were a sound, I’d be white noise.

If I were an element, I’d be As.

If I were a car, I’d be a Jetta.

If I were a food, I’d be vinegar.

If I were a place, I’d be a concrete park.

If I were a material, I’d be soft.

If I were a taste, I’d taste like ice cream cake.

If I were a scent, I’d be lavendar vanilla.

If I were an animal, I’d be an otter.

If I were an object, I’d be a railing.

If I were a body part, I’d be the elbow.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be a :P.

If I were a song, I’d be <3

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be chucks.

What's In My Bag?

2010-04-03T20:00:00.007-05:00

Inspired by Just Sweet Love

-phone & iPod (always)
-wallet, keys
-lotion, eyedrops, lipgloss and hand sanitizer
-mirror
-notebook and pens
-magazine or novel
-Coach bag a Christmas gift 2008

What's in yours?

Family Weekend

2010-04-03T18:15:00.003-05:00

Last night I went with the family to see How To Train Your Dragon.

It. Was. Awesome.

I've been working on a new art journal. Quiet Nights was so much fun, I've decided to do another class: Tell Your Story.

My mom and stepdad got wireless internet last week, so Sam brought their laptop upstairs and I brought mine from home and we set up shop in the kitchen.

And tomorrow is...

Easter!

I am Inimitable!

2010-04-02T21:09:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago I e-mailed my picture to Vivianna for the I Am photo project.

Click to see all of them & participate yourself :]

Complainy Pants

2010-04-01T18:53:00.003-05:00

It's hot out. HOT. In Wisconsin. Also, my idiotic landlord painted the windows shut, so it's stuffy and the air is stagnant. After years of a more heightened self-awareness, I've realized that any semblance of a seasonal affective syndrome I exhibit leans toward a spring depression, overall (if we're even going to stretch so far as to call it that). A lot of the poetry in my senior thesis (written over the last four years) paints a really bleak picture of springtime, which I really never noticed until recent. What can I say - I was born upside-down. I'm so not even joking about that (but kind of).

All the joking that I am a 25-year-old in an 80-year-old's body came to a head today when I stopped at Walgreens to pick up some sole inserts that came highly recommended and a velcro ice pack for my ankle (walking to work this morning was terrible today). The automatically generated coupon that printed with my receipt was for an AARP discount. I like it better when I buy feminine hygiene products and get chocolate coupons. Bitch.

URGH not only am I hot sweaty and sore, but the pizza I had for lunch is really not agreeing with me, and for all the hassle it was - they delivered it a half hour late (which happened to be one minute after I punched back in for work) and the girl was all, "in the future, we're not going to deliver here anymore. it's too far" so I said, "oh, don't worry. in the future we won't order." It's actually not that far, but she got lost. I wanted to pull my portion of the tip out of the group total, but didn't want certain people to think I was that much of a jerk. But it was that kind of day. Dammit.

Favorite Song This Week

2010-03-31T18:30:00.013-05:00

Take that, Tuesday!

2010-03-30T17:47:00.004-05:00

Okay, so this particular day has been truly fantastic. Let me count the ways:

A patient brought me a sweet card and a box of candy for all I do
I left work in a really good mood - and not just an I'm so glad work is over thing, but totally sincere
Walgreen's had birthday cake scented candles on CLEARANCE and then the grocery store had my favorite kind of birthday cake ice cream. It's not even my birthday!
I needed to get an anniversary card for my mom and step-dad (even though I am two days late today), but at Walgreen's, the only anniversary cards they had were SO dumb. I tried to find a blank card that was interesting enough to turn into happy anniversary, and settled on one featuring two pears on the front of it. Because what says you belong together better than a pear pair?
While I was walking up to the post office, I realized that the soonest the card will make it to their house will be Thursday, but I looked up to see a big mail truck, a cart of mail, and a postman waving - he took my mail right then and there!
My CCS package showed up with not only a free Vans makeup bag, but also a free beef stick. For real.
Netflix. Discovery Classics: Essential Dinosaur Pack: Disc 1 (need we say more?)

ABC's of me

2010-03-26T18:20:00.013-05:00

Kindly yanked from

A-Age: 25

B-Bed Size: Full

C-Chore you hate: Dishes

D-Dog's Name: I am pet-less, but the family dog is Munson

[this is not him]

E-Essential start to your day: Diet Coke

F-Favorite colors: violet, silver

G-Gold, Silver or Platinum: platinum. no, silver.

H-Height: 5'1

I-Instruments you play: oh... ALL of them! no, just flute, some piano, and back in the day a little trumpet and horn... some sax... my voice... and PICCOLO!

J-Jewelry you wear everyday: nose ring

K-Kids: kid brother=Sam

L-Living arrangements: college-y apartments in a neighborhood I have seriously outgrown (listening to keggers at 11:00 on a Thursday night gets old fast when you have a real job...)

M-Mom's name: Jane

N-Nicknames: Meggo... Meggie?

O-Overnight Hospital Stay, other than birth: never

P-Pet Peeves: a-holes who call others out on crimes against grammar. unless you teach sixth grade, it's so uncalled for.

Q-Quote: "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you'll start missing everybody" -Holden Caulfield

R-Right or Left Handed: Right

S-Siblings: two cool-as-heck brothers, the best sister-in-law ever, and i'm going to stop there.

T-Time you wake up: usually around 7. even on the weekends (but i'm always napping again by 10!)

U-Underwear: pink polka dots

V-Vegetable you dislike: asparagus

W-Ways you run late: snooze button

X-X-Rays: stomach, both feet, teeth

Y-Yummy food you make: i don't

Z-Zoo Favorite: otters

Go-Go-Go-Go-Goals! A Girl Can Dream.

2010-03-25T21:17:00.001-05:00

I'm not moving until August, but it's going to be a major ordeal. I moved into my first apartment, the one upstairs where I live now, in the fall of 2005. Prior to then, I was moving around between dorm rooms and my room at my parents' house. In other words, I had quite a manageable load of stuff, which by necessity had to be combed through often.

It wasn't until nearly a year ago that I decided I needed to find a different apartment. At this point in time I wasn't entirely thrilled with life in general, so I approached the apartment problems the same way I do all others in such a mood: half-assed. I lazily set my sights on the apartment directly below my own and vowed to go through my stuff and purge four years of enthusiastic shopping, throw things away, take things to goodwill, maybe even have a garage sale.

Just when I was beginning to think life could go as planned for once, I lost one of my favorite people in the entire world. Life literally stopped for a week and a half and things like my apartment, my job, my shady friends were completely out of my mind. Needless to say, moving was not as carefully calculated as I had hoped, consisting mostly of heaving stuff down the stairs and piling it up in my new entryway. I had zero time to really organize and decorate as all of my earned time at work was spent planning and attending a funeral. I literally moved empty boxes, which now sit empty in my new apartment begging to either be packed or tossed.

I don't move until August, but I already have some boxes. The changing weather lends itself well to packing away my coats, long-johns and winter accessories. There are only so many books I can read in four months, so I might as well pack up some of those. As much as I wish I do, I will not be needing my skinny clothes by then. It's also not unreasonable to try to finish stuff off - empty the shampoo bottle rather than buy a new scent a month later, use up the free samples, make sure the ibuprofen is gone before picking up another bottle (I am notorious for having lots of doubles in the bathroom). And stay on top of the trash because everything is just that much harder when the whole apartment is buried beneath one solid layer of junk mail.

This is entirely reasonable. If I can carve out a comfortable space within the mess, I can work this through in a weekend. I'll be updating...

I Think I'm Bored

2010-03-21T19:58:00.003-05:00

I'm so proud of myself for getting so much done this weekend. I went to the parents' house and did three loads of laundry, got groceries and spent lots of quality time with the little bro. My mom asked me to make it a point to hang out with Sam, but little did she know I was bringing my Planet Earth DVDs precisely so I could hang out with him. There is nothing in the world quite like having a kid who looks up to you.

Tuesday night I'm going back to E-Ville because I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday, and then I come back up Thursday morning (and have the day off Thursday... yaaay!) If only all weeks could be like that - 2.5 days off, work two days, off two more days, work one day, and then another weekend.

So... I'm writing right now to kill time because I think I'm bored... even though I need to put away my clean clothes, pick up my apartment, dust and some other stuff... so much to do!

Hello Spring

2010-03-16T19:41:00.001-05:00

On Oprah

2010-03-16T13:49:00.004-05:00

Ohhh Oprah, you and your book club.

As I've expressed before, one of my goals for 2010 is to read more. It's not that I feel I need to expand my horizons, absorb more culture or make myself smarter (although those are all good things to do). I don't have degree guilt, thinking I should consume more classics before I truly "deserve" my degree in English literature or devour contemporary works to justify the creative writing emphasis. The bottom line is that I am truly head-over-heals in LOVE with books. My "to-read" list grows at nearly the rate I am able to read synopses, and so making a goal to read more is entirely to catch myself up to the volumes upon volumes unread on my shelf.

Enter Oprah, the woman who singlehandedly turned 864 grueling pages of Tolstoy into mainstream literature. Contrary to my tweet, I don't dislike Oprah. Nor do I dislike what she has done for literature and American literacy. I'm not worried about my lit-cred, I'm not keeping score... I am, however, on Oprah's e-mail list. Every few weeks I get e-mails featuring the latest new titles or the classics that have stood the test of time with tatalizing synopses and beautiful covers and now my wishlist looks like this.

Also my to-do list is about four times as long, I have about a hundred personal goals and I am downright ashamed over the quantity of clothing with which I do not wish to part. It's rough, this "live your best life" business. Easy for you, Oprah, with your army of assistants and your record-shattering paychecks, your magazine and TV show...

Oprah, my heart is in the right place. It really is. But at the end of the day I'm going to go watch my second episode of Jersey Shore before I check to see if my antennae will pick up Idol and harvest some virtual crops. I will also watch Planet Earth segments and read Discover magazine before bed. You win some you lose some.

I Like Mondays

2010-03-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

It's true! This is the one day of the week where I feel fresh, motivated and energized enough to take on anything and everything that needs to be done.

I don't get it either - you'd think get-it-all-done time would happen at some point during the weekend... but no.

I'm trying to turn it into some sort of all-encompassing statement about tackling problems and things from the front end rather than letting it all happen and just try to clean up afterward... but I should know better than to try and fit any number of my quirks into some umbrella statement that attempts to explains them. It's like trying to fit every little exception to a loosly-defined rule into its own rigidly-defined rule - if the point is to simplify, then you've missed it entirely.

Without further ado, Happy Monday! I can't wait to get all my groceries, sort through some laundry, vacuum and organize... with one more hour of sunlight, woohoo!

[Quiet Nights via PDR]

Saturday Surprise

2010-03-13T14:15:00.006-06:00

Hm. Nothing like going to get the mail only to discover a new neighbor moving in... with the back door propped open while smoking cigarettes. Suddenly I no longer wonder why it is so cold in here or why it smells like someone is smoking... in here. I never thought I'd be disappointed to find out the percussionist moved out.

I'm also bummed about having nothing to do, but in reality there's plenty to do and just nothing I feel like doing at the moment. My whole body is sore from CPR certification yesterday, I have a headache (and a toothache), I haven't been sleeping well, and my dreams have been absolutely disturbing when I do.

I'd better find something creative, productive or entertaining to do because sitting at the computer freezing my ass off and hating life is just not doing it for me. The next time I write will be better, I promise!

Slow-Thursday Thursday

2010-03-11T08:51:00.012-06:00

In which I pay homage to my favorite ways to pass the downtime:

We Heart It: so pretty

Apartment Therapy: admit it - you always wanted a pink bathroom

Cake Wrecks: it's like engrish.com without the language barrier.

Country Life: because farmville is so last year

Godzilla Haiku: sheer poetic genius

Time Magazine: particularly the Best & Worst Lists

Urban Outfitters: because I'm a sucker for free music

Pop Hangover: because there's nothing wrong with a cheap laugh

Regretsy: nobody does snark better
This: it cannot be unseen and now i have to deal with this for the rest of my life

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Quiet Nights 8

2010-03-10T21:27:00.000-06:00

Tonight's Quiet Nights prompt was one I could really connect with: "really!" As in, "did that really just happen?" What can I say - complaining comes naturally for me. So... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of proud of my page tonight...

After a couple of questionable page attempts last week, I begrudgingly promised myself I would follow the tutorial a little more closely (after all, that's what the class is for). Being in sync with the topic helped. Trying to do "be still" while totally wound up bouncing off the walls? Not my best work - pretty sure they call that a learning experience.

I'm actually saving a few blank bubbles for another day because the journaling process dissolved a lot of my reallies and I wound up in too good a mood to channel frustration. Does it get any better than that?

Revenge of the Yarn and Other Stories

2010-03-10T11:14:00.010-06:00

Now that I so seriously really need to be studying for my OAT (November, bitches) I am absolutely immersed in the Polka Dot Robot art journal class I'm taking. See? Here's a page from day five, sometimes i feel... (because sometimes I do feel like I have the world at my feet, and most of the time I don't know what to do about it).

Two weeks ago, I was at my mom's house gathering supplies of hers to use until I have a decent collection of my own, and she was giving me all sorts of paper scraps and stuff she wasn't going to use. She tried to hand me this thing of yarn. Not like a ball or skein? or whatever, just... a card, with a bunch of inches of yarn wrapped around it. It was shiny.

I took one look at the yarn and decided I didn't want it. I mean, I was already taking a TON of my mom's stuff (she hasn't scrapbooked in months, but still). Plus I had no idea what I would use it for (this was before I realized how cool stitching on pages actually is). Lucky for me, she tried to give me the yarn again (I guess she really didn't want it) so I took it. I remember taking it, deciding there had to be something I could do with it, and I distinctly remember being glad I had taken it.

The page I made for day six (dreams) has a spot that absolutely needs that yarn. It just HAPPENED that way. And what do you think I found when I looked for the yarn? Nothing. No yarn. No trace of the yarn. No hints as to where I must have stashed that thing. Nothing. My mom checked to see if I left it at her house. I looked through my supplies three times. I cleaned.

When I finally find that yarn, I am SO stiching it right up in my dreams page faster than you can say optometry school. You hear me yarn? It is ON.

I'm a Math Genius

2010-03-09T10:14:00.007-06:00

This morning, my mom gave me a ride to work (yes, the stupid foot is still bothering me). We talked about all sorts of things. When he's doing well, (like all the time) she likes to tell me how Sam is doing in school.

She told me about his spelling pre-test, and how he hardly had any words to learn for the week, and so we got onto the topic of pre-tests and "acing" pre-tests (so that you don't have to take the actual test).

Because she's my mom and likes to hear this kind of stuff, I told her all about first year music theory and how we had to take a "rudiments exam" a few weeks into the semester. I was the only one who "aced" the pre-test, so when it came time to take the actual test, my teacher handed me one, too. So I just did it. I didn't try that hard, I doodled a lot, but I did it.

Then she told me I am the silliest person she knows, just like the time when I was five and I won at girl scouts bingo (twice!) but was too shy to yell it out, and just like the time last month when we toured ICO and I was too shy to tell the admissions guy how completely and utterly inside-outedly I had researched optometry school and how very nearly completely prepared I am. Thank goodness for moms who like to blurt, "she's a math genius" to any and everyone within earshot.

So this is for you, mom: bingo; I only need bio, micro-bio, and o-chem; excuse me, Diego, but I do not need to take this test. I'm a math genius.

Quiet Nights (1 & 2)

2010-03-02T20:08:00.005-06:00

My apartment is an absolute disaster in that it's-okay-because-she's-creative way. As previously mentioned, I'm taking the Quiet Nights art journal class taught by Vivianna of Polka Dot Robot.

Sunday night I made the cover for my journal - front and inside-front.

I took the night off yesterday to spend the night in Evansville after both doctor and dentist appointments, so tonight I did page 1 (escape) and page 2 (bliss).

Photos from here, here, here, here and here.

This is honestly unlike anything I have ever done before (excluding, maybe, the scrapbook I made after the family vacation to Florida). I think I could really get into this, though - I love doing anything that makes me feel even remotely creative, and I've been doing everything possible to get out of the rut I've been in. This little project has kept me from doing anything remotely self-destructive, boring, or a waste of time for two whole hours, and all of a sudden I feel exhausted - like I could go to sleep any minute without having to pop a benadryl or anything!

This is big.

Short Term Goals

2010-02-20T11:00:00.008-06:00

1. Write!

Laziness and apathy are allowing good ideas to go to waste... not okay.

2. Journal! I'm taking the Polka Dot Robot Art Journal Class. It is going to be a significant challenge, but I am already finding inspiration and/or supplies all over my apartment...

I'm hoping that I can complete the course in a timely matter with absolute artistic integrity. I've BS'ed my way through a lot of opportunities, and this will not be one of them.

3. Study! Because I have to...

4. More goofy pictures! Like these...

Then I'll have more stuff to journal with, because I just ordered an HP photo printer :D

4. Read! I will soon catch my reading up to my book-buying... it's currently a little unbalanced.

6. Flute! My first lesson is March 3rd. I hope to apply the same principle of artistic integrity (see #2) here, as well. I can't say I have always brought that attitude to my music studies...

7. Oboe? Now, I am not a vengeful person by any means, but I have the kind of noisy neighbors that make finally learning Oboe, which I have wanted to for years, a rather appealing new hobby. This probably won't happen.

A Silly Fairytale!

2010-02-12T15:03:00.007-06:00

Once upon a time, there lived a princess named Megan. She was the princess of contact lenses, the best eye receptionist in all the land!

But Princess Megan had one major problem: her desk drawer smelled like feet! She tried and tried to ignore the problem, keeping the drawer open for only a short time, and changing shoes in solitude, but soon the whole second floor reception desk began to smell of feet!

Megan knew what she had to do. One windy, Wisconsin winter day, she set out into the wilderness in search of shoes not yet smelling of feet. But the rugged terrain of downtown Madison had many tricks and traps in store for our brave heroine!

(via)

After narrowly avoiding the University Bookstore vortex, from which she might never emerge, she was greeted by the bright shining lights of the island of Urban Outfitters! Steadfast, she did not let the sale signs sway her. Not even the tantalizing aroma of Za's Italian eatery could tempt her off course!

(via)

She made her way up State Street, past the 600 block, through the 500 block, even up the 400 block. But then, the terrain became less and less familiar. How long has this shop been here, she thought to herself; what kind of food does this cafe serve? She made her way closer and closer to the dark forest of upper State, where trees grow in bars! As the cold midwestern air began to take its toll, she thought one little stop can't hurt. The shiny banner and familiar warmth of Pop Deluxe seemed the perfect pit stop, and OH the lights! The stationery! The insulated lunch bags! The kitchen accessories! The evil queen of marketing must have been near, yet she ignored the warnings and shopped anyway.

(via)

Amid a sea of hello kitty and pretty purses, appeared a counter nymph, bearing colorful tattoos and a shiny nose ring. "Have you seen the Uglydolls?" she asked, "They each have an interesting backstory!" Could it be, Megan wondered, that the evil queen of marketing is acting through this adorable shop girl? Proceeding with caution, she read a few Uglydoll backstories. Suddenly, an Uglydoll with three eyes popped up. Her name was Tray, and she had three brains which were always active, pondering the mysteries of the universe and other trivialities leading her to a constant state of confusion, just like our heroine, Megan and her (one) brain!

Tray the Uglydoll led Megan to the cash registers, where she presented her plastic-magnetic-strip ticket out of the land of Pop Deluxe! She was almost there - just a few storefronts farther, and she reached the kingdom of shoes. King Jack of Jack's shoes was not there, but his wench, the cashier authorized the release of Prince Chuck Taylor from the back room, for a swipe of the plastic ticket. Freedom at last!

Princess Megan ran home, dodging snow drifts, traffic, and coasties. She was so pleased with Tray's help navigating the treacherous 200 block of State, she was awarded a throne on Megan's table! She was first introduced to Megan's best friends, Robot and Dinosaur, who were at first a bit apprehensive.

When the new-shoe smell permeated the kingdom, it was a joyous moment for all - and there was much rejoicing!

The next day, order was restored in the castle of contact lens, and Princess Megan could again rest easy knowing her workstation had been freed from the foot stench for at least a few more months.

And they all lived happily ever after!

Life, Art and Imitation

2010-01-20T22:15:00.004-06:00

I just got home from my first time ever attending the Madison Comedy Club on State and I'm pretty sure I will never not go there again. By which I mean invite me there anytime and I'll come with you. I was as nervous as anyone about to attend some random venue featuring amateur comedians as entertainment, and the night was really doomed from the start. First off, the only person I knew there is pretty much the only friend I have left in Madison (yes, the one who moves to Minneapolis February 1st). I had absolutely no clue where this place was, besides "near the overture center" which could mean any number of things. When I thought I was there, I was among a group of loud "buddies" type guys whom I didn't want to follow, so I did a fake-out and took a lap around the block (seriously).

By the time I finally got into the comedy area, I found that the only way to be sure you get a table with your friends is to actually show up with your friends and sit down at the same time as them. And it's hard to send a text message to a person in a dark room full of your average downtown-Madison d-bags to say, "look out for me, i'll be in the standard-issue urban outfitters tee and black north face fleece!"

I eventually found a table tucked well-enough in a corner for me to sit inconspicuously without looking like I was trying to hide my obvious cluelessness. Well played, if I do say so myself. I did manage to say hi to Dinah and even though I wasn't able to pull up a chair, it was much more like being at the movies than being at a bar so that didn't matter too much. I did not stay until the end, because I'm not a fan of walking around in the dark by myself. BUT I made it home without incident, I was only a block and a half away from my building before the freezing rain the meteorologists promised began, and it was the first time I went out wearing shoes since the first of December. Oh, plus I laughed my ass off for like a solid hour.

So I had fun for reasons compelling enough to blog, that's cool, but I also was reminded of a story. Not just any story it's "THE STORY" by which I mean it is the random ass true-as-shit personal account you tell at a party after about the third drink when you realize you desperately want everyone in the room to remember you the next day when they see you've requested their friendship on the facebook. So I'm going to share it on my blog, because this is about the closest to the aforementioned situation I can probably get on the internet.

About halfway through the line-up - the seventh or eighth comedian - I recognized my neighbor from last year. About four days after he moved into my building, I was in my apartment drunk, stoned, and hopped up on no-doz around four in the morning (seriously) when I heard a loud noise down the hall. At this time, the apartment across the hall was occupied by an older woman who lived alone and immediately considering her well-being, ventured into the hallway. This is where I encountered my neighbor: a charming, sweet MATC student studying to be a police officer and all-around "good kid." What I saw, however, was a black guy I had never met accompanied by a cohort surrounded by what looked like smoke with bandannas over their mouths, hoods up, and a pistol.

For the second time in my life, I picked up a phone and dialed everyone's favorite three-digit number.

The actual version of the story involves a bat which had flown into the building during move-in. My neighbor and his friend, who had just returned from working as bouncers at a State Street bar were trying as hard as they could to get rid of the bat. The fire extinguisher was their first attempt, which explains the "smoke" bandannas and hoodies, and the bb gun that looked to me like a pistol was blan b(b). Everyone had a good laugh, and he even brought me a photocopy of the police report to keep as a souvenier, admitting he'd totally have done the same thing if in my shoes. It totally could have been worse.

As my former neighbor took the stage tonight, the only thing running through my head was, "oh, shit." His stage persona is far different from the guy who will forever be an amicable acquaintance of mine, with being black in Wisconsin basically being his schtick, complete with a few n-words, a punchline that even the black clouds mean bad weather, and, yes, a Hurricane Katrina reference. Overall, he was pretty funny, and I really wish I could have seen him a year ago, when he undoubtedly must have worked the bat story into his routine and I would have loved to have heard the story from his stage persona's perspective, knowing full well I was the butt of the joke.

All in all, lessons learned: the Comedy Club on State is an okay place and that secret fear of unwittingly being some stand-up comedian's punchline is probably universal, but really not all that bad.

20 Questions

2010-01-09T23:33:00.005-06:00

The original post I saw of this was on a blog far more artistic than my own, but that doesn't mean I can't do a google image search and take some crappy snapshots anyway!

1. Show us the inside of something cute

2. What's the last homecooking you had?

[Christmas]

3. What do you miss? (no dead people please)

4. What makes you laugh often?

5. What's your favorite word?

[the]

6. What are you trying to quit?

7. What's your favorite commercial right now?

8. Whose style do you dig?

9. Link to a great blog you've discovered lately...

[Color Me Katie]

10. What's the last craft you made?

11. A photo of the last happy mail you got :]

12. Something you've got lately?

13. What are you looking forward to?

[tied with]

14. Post a recent snapshot of yourself.

15. Recent Favorite Movie?

16. Something you're working on right now?

17. If a movie were made about you, who would play you?

18. What gives you goosebumps?

19. Share a new obsession.

20. What's the meaning of your life?

[Original post by Polka Dot Robot]

Creativity Project 2010

2010-01-01T20:57:00.001-06:00

I have been muddled and lacking focus; I've come to realize that times I feel I am at my best happen to be times I have a solid, satisfying creative outlet.

SO, call it a New Years resolution, a relevation, or ridiculous; starting now I am making a conscious effort to push myself toward creative pursuits. For example, I am currently writing. I can play my flute. I could learn how to [something cool]. Whatever. I didn't write a novel in November, and I may never write fiction or poetry again but that's okay I guess.

The entire point of sharing all this is in doing so, maybe I'll actually follow through. Here, I have two goals: 1. blog more. 2. get into a good ensemble this fall(?) when I go to Whitewater.

#1 sets the bar pretty low, but #2 is a legitimate, attainable challenge. I did earn a creative writing/english degree on a music scholarship. The least I could do is try to prove it wasn't completely pointless. That would suck.

Ocho

2009-11-03T21:23:00.006-06:00

This month my younger brother turns eight. All day I have been asking myself, what do you get for an eight-year-old boy? More specifically, an eight-year-old boy who tires of his toys after a month if they have not broken by then.

Luckily, I did not have to agonize over it for long, as Walgreen's had Wisconsin Badgers wallets and keychains on the cheap. Insert cash, and voila: birthday gift!

But the challenge did not end there; eight-year-olds, for the most part, are not terribly interested in opening cards, and this issue was only complicated further by my bland card stash. Greeting cards are horrendously overpriced, but packets of ten or twelve blank cards are not only reasonable but also force you to write an original message. What's the point of sending a card if you're not going to write anything in it? And what kid enjoys his family forcing him to read each card aloud before ripping into its corresponding gift!? Yes, ours does. Especially when you are learning to read.

Somewhere between selecting a gift box and searching for tissue paper, I had an idea. Here's the thing - I LOVE giving gifts, and I can't stand having to do with a candle or gift card for lack of any better idea. I got to work, and the finished product turned out even better than I ever could have imagined, and I am so EXCITED about it, that (despite how narcissistic it may make me look, this is my blog)- I just have to share. Without further ado:

Many thanks to Google and Wikipedia.

The only problem now? How do I follow THAT with Christmas right around the corner??? Hahahaha!!!

And I Can Breathe In A Small Town

2009-10-12T14:10:00.013-05:00

I moved out of my parents' house permanently in 2005. In the time between then and now, my hometown acquired its first set of stoplights, and a mechanical bull.

Not even a week after I'd settled into my first apartment, my remaining belongings were packed up, and my old room became my little brother's room, and his old room became the spare bedroom.

And THEN, my mom painted the bathroom orange. Not a bathroomy pink-orange coral shade, not some kind of dark rustic burnt sienna shade, ORANGE. Like a pumpkin.

Even though I spent my senior year there, I still can not get used to the presence of the "new" high school, and when I attended the homecoming game a couple fridays ago, my Blue Devils played a team that was not even in our conference when I was a student.

They say that after you grow up and move out, you can never actually go "home" and they always say it like it's a bad thing... but... I think it's awesome!

There is a lot to love in Evansville. And the fact that it is so unbelievably different from when I truly lived there makes it possible. I cut a lot of ties, dropped the nostalgia that was beginning to feel like baggage, and I just love that I don't come from a town that never changes. When YOU change, and your old town stays the same, it's depressing. It taints your memories when you realize what a dump you really came from and you see how totally insignificant everything you ever cared about actually is. That sucks so bad...

I don't know if I could ever actually live in a small town, but I am BLESSED to live so close to one as dynamic yet quaint and old-timey and hip all at the same time. I love love LOVE Madison, but I'm also extremely proud of where I've come from. It has taken nearly five years to figure this all out, but it was worth the wait.

Forever Young

2009-10-11T14:25:00.015-05:00

It all started on the fail blog, where somebody posted this little gem:

As utterly idiotic as the question was, it made me think. In a few decades, an entire generation will be immortalized through facebook a-la Anne Frank's diary, and I just don't know what to make of it.

I was putzing around on one of my facebook apps (farm town, btw) and I had received an automated message from a facebook friend who recently passed away. My first thought was "UN-FRIEND ASAP," but I went to look at his page, and found that it was filled entirely with stories his close friends would never forget, condolences to his family, and even a few messages TO him from folks whose beliefs promised that was not weird. It was very nice. A virtual memorial, in a sense, so I kept him as a "friend."

This is not about facebook, though, the real story here goes back to livejournal. Livejournal was my best friend from 2001-2009. It helped me keep in touch with old friends who moved away, it was a place I could vent or gush about whatever was happening in my life, and it opened doors to a few quite intimate virtual friendships that opened my eyes to things, helped me, changed me, etc.

There was one girl in particular, whom I added because her profile really grabbed me - a quirky, outspoken bibliophile from Texas who seemed to have quite the unique outlook on life. Her journal drew me in instantly - she was immensely intelligent far beyond her years, and the comments she left on my own journal entries always made me think.

In 2007, she sort of disappeared off the face of the internet - and I worried. Between her accidental pregnancy and toxic boyfriend and everything else in her life it was not too surprising, though very curious. Her sudden absence became as permeating as her effervescent presence, so I searched, though not obsessively, and soon stopped.

I recently had e-mail correspondence with another individual sincerely wondering what had happened. I said I did not know, but hoped he'd let me know if he learned anything. This afternoon my worst fears were confirmed. The only relief lay in the fact that it was not an overdose or suicide or anything else that could have been prevented, but a serious medical condition.

She has been gone for two-and-a-half years, in which time I have mourned her absence, yet I still am completely blown away by her death. I lit a candle and began writing, because that is what I do. Of course I wanted it to be some sort of tribute or memorial, but I just don't know what to say. I'm sure I will publish this, but it is more for me and not you. I was hoping I might make sense of the whole thing through writing, but I can't. I hoped to bring myself to a profound conclusion, but one can not be drawn. It is what it is - life&death - because of the photo he sent me, I will always remember her smille. And so to S: I will miss you forever. Love, Megan (NOT Meghan).

[respectfully added 1/10/10 courtesy of postsecret]

Ikea Fevah

2009-10-08T17:21:00.011-05:00

Over the course of the last twenty-five years and seventeen days, I have been to Ikea once. It. Was. Amazing.

Today I found out that my mom hates Ikea. Is that even possible? AND she gets to go tomorrow! The day is actually about spending time with her sister and their friend, and they're wonderful, she would go anywhere with them, so that's what's going on there.

So I tried to be an adult having a conversation with another adult - any adult with whom I can have meaningful conversations (not like, you know, MOM). I told her she would probably have fun if she wasn't so negative about Ikea furniture, that the day isn't really about her, and to try to make the best of it. She goes, yeah yeah... same as I'd say had our roles been reversed.

Since that didn't really ignite a spark, I tried plan B: share MY Ikea experience, which would surely end with some form of "you are so weird." But oh, well. I spent the next few minutes raving about how cool it is that they have sample rooms all set up where all the furniture matches and everything is always perfect and cool-looking and expertly-designed. Here, you play the Ikea game: you go find a nice, sterile example room, sit down, and pretend you live there for a while. When you get sick of it, find another one! Pretty juvenile, but when you are trying to have fun at a store where you don't particularly enjoy shopping, every remotely fun alternative is going to be juvenile. See: 50 things to do at Wal-Mart, a popular e-mail forward back when people actually forwarded that shit.

And here's the part you'll never believe. She totally went along with it. My mom, who thinks I have the STRANGEST sense of humor and an even weirder taste in just about everything - who knows me better than anyone in the world, yet still has some pretty WTF moments with me - she chimed in about camping out on a comfy couch (her favorite way to unwind at the end of the day) and I was all, yeah, maybe they'll turn on some HGTV for you! And we had a moment.

What's the point of this story? For a while, I don't think my mom very well liked who she thought I was becoming. She's always loved me in that mothers'-unconditional-love kind of way, and she's always been good to me. LATELY, however, we talk about stuff and connect and at times ARE just two adults shooting the shit. Like maybe she would enjoy my company, even if she wasn't obligated to. And... cue the sappy soundtrack... it means the WORLD to me.

I'll Take My Swine Flu With a Grain of Salt, Please

2009-10-07T09:08:00.012-05:00

I should preface the following paragraphs with a sort of a disclaimer - I am not, nor do I ever claim to be an expert on anything. If there are holes in my theories, flaws in my logic then get in touch because I would LOVE to hear what other people think about this stuff.

Influenza is a big deal, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. And I mean a knock-down, drag-out, butt-kicking, three-miserable-weeks-in-bed INFLUENZA, not "the flu" which has somehow come to mean a day or two of gastroenteritis; it's not the same thing. If I constructed a "Top Ten Pet Peeves" list, that one would fall somewhere between extra-over-privileged girls who don't understand sidewalk etiquitte and people who don't like to repeat themselves yet don't speak clearly.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, chew on this: "In the U.S., an estimated 25–50 million cases of the flu are currently reported each year — leading to 150,000 hospitalizations and 30,000–40,000 deaths yearly (via). Okay - so that's just influenza. I would venture to guess these numbers were compiled long before an H1N1 outbreak scare made it onto the radar. And here is the kicker: the total number of reported swine flu/H1N1 cases reported in the U.S. has been a whopping 33,902 with 170 deaths (via). Not to mention it's only such an issue at all because of how easily it spreads, but that's only a problem if you don't wash your hands or you go around licking things or whatever you people who are always sick do.

But I didn't log in to Blogger today to complain about my pet peeves or post inadequately checked facts. No, no, no, I wanted to throw my two cents in about the hysteria. Actually, hysteria is a really misogynistic term, so I'm going to call it PANIC. And please don't.

I just want to point out that the media, be it radio, tv or print runs on ad revenue. If your content is NEWS, then there is great incentive to gain viewers. More viewers means more ad exposure. So now every company wants to have a commercial during YOUR show, and that drives the price up (basic economics, people). ERGO a larger audience = more money in media outlets' pockets. Of course, news outlets really don't have the same kind of creative liberty as a sitcom so they have go figure out other ways to generate viewership. They DO have the ability to exaggerate and/or selectively withhold information. So then information becomes a commodity of sorts and if you don't "watch at 10" you are made to feel as though you are missing out and if you DO watch, you're likely to hear a startling statistic out of context that just might not be so startling IN its proper context. They do this all the time (via).

The whole H1N1/Swine Flu pandemic is a veritable GOLD MINE for news outlets looking to increase viewership to inflate ad prices and make more money. And PLEASE don't get me wrong - WASH YOUR HANDS, wash them ALL the time, and keep that habit long after flu threat subsides. DON'T GO TO WORK SICK! What did the rest of us ever do to you? My fourth grade teacher said that all rules/principles to live by fall into two categories: respect and responsibility. So be responsible for keeping good hygeine habits year-round, and respect your peers by not exposing them to your illness. Can we all just agree on this and let the media go on to their next apocalyptic prediction?

We'll Never Forget You, Brent

2009-10-02T12:22:00.012-05:00

Okay... this could very well likely get me into some trouble. OH WELL

To all of you Packer fans who harbor ill feelings toward Brett Favre, I have one question for you: what are you really upset about? And how on EARTH did you develop such a deep, emotional attachment to a professional quarterback you never have and never will meet?

Yes, I'm absolutely a Packer fan. In fact, last Sunday I placed a call to AT&T customer support, and the guy who took my call identified himself as so-and-so out of St. Louis, and I came thisclose to asking him if he was a football fan. But I kind of wanted him to fix my internet, and I am really not that kind of fan. What kind of fan AM I then? How about a passive, laid-back, nostalgic fan. The girl in packer pajamas having a beer on the couch on a Sunday afternoon. I get riled up ("go... go... go go go GO GO GO AHHHHHH!!!!!!) and I may have shead a tear or two, but I will NEVER buy green and gold face paint and even though I have never been to a game, I'd be lying if I said I'd sit in negative-thirty-two-degree conditions to catch the very last play (even though 50% of my genetic make-up comes from somebody who has).

ACTUALLY, Remember in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire when Harry attends the Quiddich Cup with the Weasleys? Everybody WANTS Ireland to win, but they are also fans of Viktor Krum of the other team, and want him to do equally well.

So everybody is rooting for Ireland as a team and Krum as an individual and sure enough, Ireland wins, but Krum catches the snitch. That is what I hope happens tonight. The Packers definitely need to win, no doubt about it. But I do wish Favre a good game - he is a talented athlete and should be celebrated for that.

But I digress.

Favre haters: what's wrong? Is it abandonment issues? Anger issues? Was your high school quarterback just so dreamy your perspective is skewed into projecting your juvenille crush onto Favre? Are you so isolated from social behaviors you have to create a false sense of community with people you will never ever know? You have never been in love with Favre, nor do you dislike him as much as you let on, so what is REALLY going on???

I do not mean this rhetorically, I really mean it, what is the issue really about???

Slacker for LIFE!

2009-10-01T18:34:00.003-05:00

Two things happened in the last week: facebook ceased to be "blocked" by the computers at work and I am finally online at home. This is going to make me sound seriously uncool, but I will risk it - I really missed facebook. And yes, you can bet your ass I busted in there like a kid in a freakin' candy store. If there ever was such a thing as spamming your own stupid self, then I did it. And then I replied to it two seconds later.

I feel so much better now that I've gotten that off my chest. I'm not afraid of looking totally lame. I like to stay in. I go to bed early. I kill time being your least hip facebook friend. No longer do I elusively NOT post shit, offering the suggestion that I have something better going on most of the time. I don't, and I really never have. Half my FAMILY is on facebook, and my mom still refuses to participate. So I guess that makes even my MOM cooler than me... I won't sweat it.

And then what do I do when I'm not oversharing all over my stupid facebook? Oh, just finding that most of my old high school classmates have kids. KIDS! And pretty much everybody who doesn't have a kid yet is in graduate school and the rest of them own homes.

That's okay, too. I have become insanely comfortable with my lack of ambition, and I'm not ashamed of the fact that I do not volunteer my time, donate to charities, or even care to seek employment that requires my degree. Take a second and look a few inches to your right ---> I may have zero dollars in my google ad account, but at least I don't have to do anything. Sure, at first I had a total and-what-the-hell-am-I-doing moment... but there is just no sense in keeping score be it through GPA, income, number of healthy offspring or anything else that ranks highly in your value system. I would hope my old buddies feel the same way, but maybe I arrived at that conclusion because being a slacker for life means having GOBS of free time, and that means you get to sit around and justify slackerdom.

As long as I'm laying it on nice and THICK now, I might go so far as to call myself a "late bloomer." There is no sense in denying that trust funds are on the way, and I have thought long and hard about going back to school and actually applying myself a little this time around... Education - and I mean learning, not coming into good-enough grades through pre-existing knowledge and dumb luck - EDUCATION is truly an investment, an incredibly appropriate one, at that. I know I have it in me; some of my college classes were so interesting they compelled me to crack a few spines. Yes, most of my grades are wholly undeserved, but I can still say I have read an entire psychology textbook cover-to-cover AND I really don't have any qualms taking credit for five straight-A semesters of Russian (though I have to admit, the language somehow came easily to me).

So... what I do know is that there is no point in trying to plan out every step of your life, because sometimes the unexpected "problems" that crop up wind up totally necessary detours. There's nothing wrong with setting goals - graduating at the top of your class from Harvard medical school, or simply NOT overdrafting my account for the duration of tomorrow through my next paycheck, whatever. I may be a slacker, but I certainly haven't given up on myself.

If Only Over-Complicating Simple Solutions Were a Marketable Skill

2009-09-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

So much for my awesome blog! I still don't have the internet at my apartment. This is mostly my own stupid fault. While home sick from work, my building maintenance knocked on my door to check my phone line. It was something like day three for my ratty pajamas and day two on my shower strike. The living room looked ransacked and the crumbs were slightly embarassing. I turned them away. I turned away building maintenance that, until that moment, I had been skeptical even existed.

It was a monumentally stupid move on my part, considering it would probably be another couple of weeks before my awful landlord would get someone up there to look at it again, but what was I to do? Plus, I had an appointment with AT&T Sunday. ALLLLLLLL day Sunday.

So. Sunday. Convinced AT&T was going to no-show (it was 5:30 at night), I gave up. I reclaimed my time, my space, and resigned to the fact I would not see AT&T. Yeah, they showed. After I reclaimed my time and space and DID NOT WANT to be bothered(!!!)

So that makes two, two monumentally stupid moves, ah ha ha! And still no internet. In a perfect world, building maintenance will ALWAYS show up when I am nowhere near my apartment (if I don't see strangers in my apartment, then it never happened, and it's not creepy) and AT&T tech support will give you an appointment time a little more specific than "Sunday."

So now I have to contact both building maintenance and AT&T and sheepishly explain whatever excuse seems most appropriate (because "getting sketched out" by maintenance workers alone with me in my apt. is going to sound hella stupid). I mean, most women get "sketched out" when strange men enter their apartments... that's reality. But at this point I can't think of a sketchier dude than the one who lived in my apartment for like six months, so there's that.

For the sake of humanity, let's hope I can figure out this mess before my first month's bill arrives. Tonight, I'm going to go down to the creepy basement and see if there are phone jacks hidden in the old laundry room. Or maybe I can convince a neighbor to plug my router into their phone jack, but then I guess that means I'll have to share my bandwith... UGH

Infamous Introductions

2009-09-14T11:44:00.003-05:00

Today marks a noteworthy day in the life of Megan: after something like a one-year hiatus, I have once again opted to have an internet signal cast into my apartment!

Some of you must be thinking, "Internet? BFD!" Those of you who have tried to sustain any large amount of time with limited to zero access get it.

Why now? Why not now!? A few things -

I just moved into a new apartment
I'm single (at least I'm pretty sure I am)
I graduated from college - still can't find a relevant job
If I quit writing on a regular basis, I will get rusty
I just turned 25... TWENTY-FIVE WTF
I have a brand new computer

I still haven't decided what on earth I must need to have a blog for, but I had this blogger account I signed up for AGES ago and now I have a little blogger desktop gadget RIGHT THERE on my new computer and MAYBE JUST MAYBE I am still holding onto that flicker of that internet stardom dream I once had. Stop laughing, we all had stupid dreams. At least I never wanted a job with the circus or, heaven forbid, the carnival.

So there you go. Add me to your RSS feeds now and let's get this show on the road...